My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death.
My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn't show the dirt.