Life began on this planet when the first amoeba split. Mankind will still be seeking God, not accepting that God is a spirit; can't see it, touch it, only feel it. It's called LOVE.
Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.