There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.

When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.

I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.

It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.

Life began on this planet when the first amoeba split. Mankind will still be seeking God, not accepting that God is a spirit; can't see it, touch it, only feel it. It's called LOVE.