Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.
All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.