My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.

Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang only 15 days.

My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'

Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink.