It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister.

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.

Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.

I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.

I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood.