I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'

Mothers-in-law do not make good house pets. Once I had the most wonderful dream -- I dreamed that mothers-in-law cost money and I couldn't afford one.

When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood.

One [expert] said, 'Always have a baby sitter who is acquainted with your children.' If they were acquainted with my children, they wouldn't sit!

My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.

I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."