I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn't show the dirt.
I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.
Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.