Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book; or a friend who's #read one.

There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.

No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they're early, so naturally you're not ready.

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.