My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Do I believe in Witchcraft? I'm the result of it.
Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn't do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.