I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
I got my first laugh when my mother entered me in a baby contest.
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
Do not taste food while you're cooking. You may lose your nerve to serve it.
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.