Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.

Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.

I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn't show the dirt.

I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.

Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.

When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.