It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.

I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.

Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.

Life began on this planet when the first amoeba split. Mankind will still be seeking God, not accepting that God is a spirit; can't see it, touch it, only feel it. It's called LOVE.

Mothers-in-law do not make good house pets. Once I had the most wonderful dream -- I dreamed that mothers-in-law cost money and I couldn't afford one.

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.