Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.