If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.

Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.

Would you believe that I once entered a beauty contest? I must have been out of my mind. I not only came in last, I got 361 get-well cards.

We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.

Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!

My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.

My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.