You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head.
Think of me as a sex symbol for the men who don't give a damn.
We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.
There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.