I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."
You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.
My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
Once Fang took pep pills and they worked - the only time he ever ran to bed.
I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.