When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate.

If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.

Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?

Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.

I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.

My timing is so precise, a heckler would have to make an appointment just to get a word in.

Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.