I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'
When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
They always say to Californians that we don't have seasons. Of course, that is not true. We have fire, flood, mud and drought.