You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.
I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.
I don't like to cook. I can make a TV dinner taste like radio.
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.