I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.
I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.
Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone to the bathroom or gone to bed.
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.