My eight-year-old bought a bicycle with the money he saved by not smoking.

I remember once a vocational director said to Fang, "You must develop some mechanical skills - like getting out of bed."

It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.

There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.

They always say to Californians that we don't have seasons. Of course, that is not true. We have fire, flood, mud and drought.

When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.

Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.