Your husband drinks too much if he says he never drinks alone, but considers the goldfish somebody.
Phyllis DillerBefore you get married you should meet your fiance's parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.
Phyllis DillerThey always say to Californians that we don't have seasons. Of course, that is not true. We have fire, flood, mud and drought.
Phyllis Diller