It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser.

I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn't show the dirt.

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they're early, so naturally you're not ready.

One [expert] said, 'Always have a baby sitter who is acquainted with your children.' If they were acquainted with my children, they wouldn't sit!

There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.