If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.
All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.
[When to have a facelift:] If you're tripping over your neck.
When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.
Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
My body's in such bad shape I wear prescription underwear.