Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Never refer to your wedding night as the original amateur hour.
I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.
Would you believe that I once entered a beauty contest? I must have been out of my mind. I not only came in last, I got 361 get-well cards.