The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours. We were not created by a deity. We created the deity in OUR image. Life began on this planet when the first amoeba split. Mankind will still be seeking God, not accepting that God is a spirit; can't see it, touch it, only feel it. It's called LOVE.

The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when you're away from them, who needs it?.

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

My timing is so precise, a heckler would have to make an appointment just to get a word in.

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head.

Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.