I don't know how you feel about old age... but in my case I didn't even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.

When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

I'm looking for a perfume to overpower men - I'm sick of karate.