If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.

Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.

Comedy is tragedy revisited or hostility. It is mock hostility, of course, or it would be ugly; we would have a war.

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.

We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .

[When to have a facelift:] If you're tripping over your neck.