Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.

Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.

All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.

It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'

If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.