My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, What do you have in lingerie? She says, More than you'll ever have!
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
This woman goes into a gun shop and says, 'I want to buy a gun for my husband.' The clerk says, 'Did he tell you what kind of gun?' 'No,' she replied. 'He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.