I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.

I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.

No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they're early, so naturally you're not ready.

Before you get married you should meet your fiance's parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.

... if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year.

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.

Have you ever known anyone who bought a fruitcake for himself? Of course not. They are purchased as Christmas gifts, mostly for people you don't particularly like.