My timing is so precise, a heckler would have to make an appointment just to get a word in.

Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.

When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.

My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.

There isn't any (afterlife), you dingbat! This is it, baby! Enjoy, carefully! Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion and I can't buy any of it. So God made man in His own image? It's just the other way around. Man made God in his own image. It's all about money.

Comedy is tragedy revisited.

I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.