When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'
My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head.
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.