Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?

My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.

When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.

Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.

When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.