Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?

A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.

I don't know how you feel about old age... but in my case I didn't even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

My sister-in-law is so skinny that she has a striped dress with only one stripe.

I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'