I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.

Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.

Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.