Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.

I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.

It's a certain kind of immortality, because those Disney films do go on and on and on.

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.

Everybody knows how much time Fang spends in bed. A local store that gives a 30 days' trial on mattresses gives Fang only 15 days.

I still take the pill. I don't want any more grandchildren.