The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.