It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.
You know you're old when your walker has an airbag.
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.
Once Fang took pep pills and they worked - the only time he ever ran to bed.