Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!

I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.

Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.

Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!

I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned.

Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.