We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .

The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours. We were not created by a deity. We created the deity in OUR image. Life began on this planet when the first amoeba split. Mankind will still be seeking God, not accepting that God is a spirit; can't see it, touch it, only feel it. It's called LOVE.

Your husband is lazy if coffee doesn't keep him awake - even when it's hot and being spilled on him.

My husband is so useless that it's hard for me to be romantic with him. I get down on the floor and say, If you love me, blink your eyes.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.

Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.

I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.