Carry an oar when you drive. Three times I've ended up in water.

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.

My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.

Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.

Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.