I got my first laugh when my mother entered me in a baby contest.
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.
If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.