If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.

I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death.

Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.

Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he uses seven bottles.

I met my husband when a friend sent him over to my house to cure my hiccoughs.

I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.

Before you get married you should meet your fiance's parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.