I don't like to cook. I can make a TV dinner taste like radio.

Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.

Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.

There isn't any (afterlife), you dingbat! This is it, baby! Enjoy, carefully! Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion and I can't buy any of it. So God made man in His own image? It's just the other way around. Man made God in his own image. It's all about money.

You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.