A friend told me the longer you keep Romano cheese, the better it gets. So, I kept it three years. And this thing turned mean. Now and then I'd open the refrigerator door and throw it some food. I'd have to walk it now and then. And then it grew this one leg. And it's got this ugly fuzz all over it. And the dogs won't run with it.
Phyllis DillerWhen buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis DillerFang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood.
Phyllis DillerTo get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won't have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.
Phyllis Diller