My timing is so precise, a heckler would have to make an appointment just to get a word in.
Phyllis DillerJust the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.
Phyllis DillerWhen buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis Diller