Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.

There isn't any (afterlife), you dingbat! This is it, baby! Enjoy, carefully! Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion and I can't buy any of it. So God made man in His own image? It's just the other way around. Man made God in his own image. It's all about money.

Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.

You want to look younger... rent smaller children.

Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.

A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning.