self-pity is better than none.

Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies.

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Once Fang took pep pills and they worked - the only time he ever ran to bed.

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.