self-pity is better than none.
I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.
My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.
When I go to bed at night, I've got so much grease on my body I wear snow chains to hold up my gown.