Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.