My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.

There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake.

My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.

Some wives have model husbands, I got one that needed remodeling.

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

All mothers are working mothers.