I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves.

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.

We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.

Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.