Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.

Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.

Once my husband said to me, 'I'm going to have some coffee. Do you want me to put some hot water on for you?' I thought that was the least he could do considering I was giving birth.

You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.

Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.

Remarrying a husband you've divorced is like having your appendix put back in.