Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that direction.

Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.

My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate.

Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.

Would you believe that I once entered a beauty contest? I must have been out of my mind. I not only came in last, I got 361 get-well cards.

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.