Becoming a comedienne was my way of adjusting to puberty.

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.

To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won't have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.

My doctor is a family physician. He treats my family and I support his.

If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.

Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.