Once Fang took pep pills and they worked - the only time he ever ran to bed.

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish.

When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.

Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn't do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.

My house used to be haunted, but the ghosts haven't been back since the night I tried on all my wigs.

I realize it is normal to argue. I almost missed World War II watching my parents fight.

Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.