You've got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It's when somebody steps on the bride's train, or belches during the ceremony that you've got comedy!

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.

The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.

I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn't show the dirt.

We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.