Your husband drinks too much if he says he never drinks alone, but considers the goldfish somebody.

Like all good ruins, I look better by moonlight.

... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular.

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.

Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?

I don’t want to sound like I’m on dope, but that hour is a high; it’s as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power.

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book; or a friend who's #read one.