The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.
Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!
The doctor looked my body over. I said: Is there any hope? He said: Yes. Reincarnation.
Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.
Doctors say it's okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.