When you play spin the bottle, if they don't want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
Phyllis DillerMy husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked.
Phyllis DillerHave the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?
Phyllis Diller