If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.

When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.

All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.

Have the man at the station put the air in the tires. I did it once myself. Have you ever seen a car with a limp?

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along - but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.

Remember, only a policeman is allowed to express himself on an expressway.

This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball.