Tennis is like marrying for money. Love has nothing to do with it.
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
If I wore a peek-a-boo dress, it would be like turning in a false alarm.
Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!