I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good #book; or a friend who's #read one.

A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.

Would you believe that I once entered a beauty contest? I must have been out of my mind. I not only came in last, I got 361 get-well cards.

Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, 'I'll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,' never ends in a hug and a kiss.

You want to look younger... rent smaller children.

I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.