[When to have a facelift:] If you're tripping over your neck.
When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.
Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.
My sister was so promiscuous she broke her ankle in the glove compartment of a car.
I don't like to cook. I can make a TV dinner taste like radio.
Would you believe that I once entered a beauty contest? I must have been out of my mind. I not only came in last, I got 361 get-well cards.