I don't want to be a spokesman for family values, but that's the way my standup is perceived.

My kids are growing up and it's hard to accept they are their own person and they're independent.

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

I do what I do because I love it.

You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.

I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.